Military Life

Army Wives: You are NOT a Soldier

Army Wives you are NOT a soldier. Don't let others treat you like one. Lessons from an Army wife.

Hey girl. Yea you. Did you enlist? Nope…me either. Did you commission? No? Yeah me either….

You are not a Soldier. You are not a Soldier and I’ll say it one more time just so ya get my point.


In honor of full disclosure, this post contains affiliate links which means that if you purchase any items linked on this page I will get a small portion of the sale (woot woot) with no extra cost to you (Yippee)!

Contrary to what people say- No, you did not know what you were signing up for when you married him. Why didn’t you know? Well because YOU ARE NOT A SOLIDER and neither are all the other army wives out there. – Oh, and because you weren’t born with that super cool superpower to see into the future!

I want to know why the military culture is one that expects perfection out of spouses?

Now, hold on! This isn’t just a big rant…..stick with me here…

For about six months we have known we were going to be tackling our first official PCS. My husband has been in the Army for five years enlisted with the reserve. So, while I’m not a totally green army wife, I am in a sense because we are now on active duty. If you are a new or old military spouse I highly recommend you check out this book!  Seriously…it has everything you need to know written by some of the coolest military spouses out there.

In preparing for this OCONUS PCS I have had to figure out how to do all the paperwork, scheduling, and other crap that has to happen before you can actually go. While I have had some amazing experiences with super kind and helpful people, I have also had some terrible experiences. If any of these experiences have ever happened to you, please keep reading.

Common experiences for Army Wives

Eye roll because you don’t know what one of the billion acronyms mean.

Talk slow like you are a child because you get confused about military time.

Spit out a bunch of form names that start with DA and act like everyone just knows what the heck they are all for.

Repeat a fact over and over like they are the high God of the universe.

Tell you your “Just going to have to deal with it.” Or even better, “Get over it.”

Treat you like a puppy who they need to rescue.

Or my freaking favorite…they try and one-up you with their experience that was somehow worse.

All of those things have happened to me multiple times and I for one have let all of them tear me down. Guys…I’m talking big fat ugly cries! It is easy. I mean, come on….you’re already super stressed about whatever it is you’re trying to figure out, and then someone feels the need to make themselves feel bigger, taller, smarter?

Guys, it is going to happen. There are just jerks out there.

BUT….let me remind you. YOU ARE NOT A SOLDIER. You are not required to know every acronym, every rank name, every brigade structure, every form name and what is for, and how everything works for (you fill in your situation).

Yes, you married in, but no, you didn’t yourself join the military. You are along for the ride, to have, hold and cherish your spouse for better or worse.

So as someone who has had to fight off all the offensive and ill-mannered comments and assumptions, please hear me out and add these to your Army wive mantra.

It is okay not to know things!

You are allowed to learn!

You are allowed to cry!

Army Wives, you deserve respect!..I’m talking a whole lot of respect!

So gals….Remeber what you deserve, let the crap roll off your shoulders, and kill others with kindness.

You will learn as you go, and that is okay! Why?

I think you know 😏

Army Wives you are NOT a soldier. You deserve respect. Lessons from an Army wife.

Stay Strong




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1 thought on “Army Wives: You are NOT a Soldier

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